Severin in September

Over the past several weeks, Victoria and I have been seeking the ideal candidate to assume my position as Household Manager in September. Although one might feel I should be pleased to cease work as a servant and become the Lord of the Manor, I have found the prospect difficult and a bit sad.

For many years I have made serving Victoria my life and found great delight in so doing. Setting things in order, making preparations and arrangements as well as managing the daily business of the estate has brought me immense satisfaction and I shall feel at a loss upon passing the mantle on to someone else.

Nonetheless... We have found our man. His name is Severin and he shall begin his employment with us on September 1st, several weeks prior to the wedding. He seems a very diligent and professional man; A graduate of The Guild of Professional English Butlers (Robert Watson) who comes to us via the recommendation of his previous employer in Germany. He is British and only considered leaving his present position in order that he might return to his own country. He is 46 and his CV boasts quite a number of skills as well as vast experience over the past 20 years. He considers service his life's calling. I certainly understand his perspective.

I feel sure he will do a splendid job, but even so, I fear I shall have to restrain myself from taking the reins when he begins his term here. In many ways I will mourn the loss of my position to a stranger.

I shall be gracious and as helpful as I can without being overbearing or intrusive to his manner of doing things. I shall will myself to behave with sensitivity to his early ignorance of how Victoria prefers the household to be run. Self control and courtesy shall be key.

I have begun to be a bit more involved in my musical endeavors. In fact I shall be away to London for two weeks in the early part of the coming month. I've been contracted for musical services by a recording company, which I feel is quite good news. I shan't elaborate but I am well pleased to have been considered and chosen, even if my mother is guilty of 'pulling a few strings'. It is truly only session work, but I am pleased to have it.

During my absence, Michael shall be staying here with Victoria to attend to her needs. The pregnancy is coming along well. Despite the tragedy of last year, the three of us are all feeling confident that baby will arrive safe and well.

Michael is now in the employ of Victoria in the Norwich offices. He has decided that he shall remain in the UK on his work visa for at least the next few years in order that the child may be near both his parents.

Michael does not live here on the estate but rather in a new flat he bought for himself near the train station in Norwich. He, Algernon and myself spent a bit of time decorating and setting up more baby furniture in the second bedroom of the flat which will be the nursery. I was a bit taken back to find that Michael had purchased a sewing machine and was making fine progress in sewing new curtains for his bedroom and the nursery. I never knew he posessed the skill.

There is a lovely view from his lounge window and a courtyard that will lend itself nicely to afternoons of relaxation and play when the boy is a bit older. The location is quite handy to the city as well as to a few play areas, parks, the library and Chapelfield mall.

Also, after much diliberation, Michael and Victoria have chosen a governess to look after little Michael whilst his father is at work. She is a young blonde woman who is called Ilsa. She has excellent credentials and seems quite a lovely girl.

On a different note, the tension seems to have vanished between Michael and myself. We are much more at ease with one another again. I still have tremendous feelings for him which I am confident will not fade.

The last time Michael had occasion to visit us, he and I had a run. Halfway through he said to me that he missed the freedom. I asked what freedom he was speaking of and he dropped back. Naturally I stopped as well. I turned to see what he was doing, and there he was shedding his clothing down to his socks and trainers.

I have not seen him unclothed in quite some time and the urge to stare was difficult to resist. His skin is smooth and milky now, having not seen the sun. He is perfection. I looked away, but not soon enough. He smiled at me, but said nothing. I did join him in this 'freedom' and it was indeed liberating. I have dearly missed going about in a natural state.

All of life seems very tranquil and joyful at the moment. Even though I am one prone to worry, I feel a sense of ease and peace about the future. All things seem to be settling.

Joy is long overdue us.


Chauncey

Three in the House

Michael has only just left to return to Cambridge. He was here with us overnight due to Victoria not feeling very well. All has returned to normal now, and thus he has departed.

He is such a different person to the playful boy I had known. He seems almost a total stranger. I miss the person I used to know. Being in his presence now is very uncomfortable and sad as well. He feels I am mad to have returned here and to have proposed to Victoria. This naturally could cause friction, but we carefully avoided the topic and thus also avoided any outbursts or quarrels.

Victoria and Michael did have some business to discuss with regard to his either staying in the UK or returning to Miami to settle. It is highly likely that he will return to Miami shortly after the baby is born. He informed us that he's been offered a position within an influential accounting firm in Floria and he feels it would be in the best interest of all concerned for him to return there and raise his son.

There is no doubt in my mind that this will be difficult for Victoria. She made the decision to relinquish her bid for primary custody after Michael and I left the estate, but I believe when the moment comes it will be heartbreaking. I have said that I would be willing to conceive a child with her if that is her heart's desire but she has declined to answer either way for now saying it is too soon.

Sometimes when I think back a year and recall how happy we all once were it shakes me to my core. I miss the early days with Michael, both of us in service to Victoria, and learning to care deeply for each other along the way. We were a family, but that time has passed and what once was is irretrievable now.

It was difficult not to reminisce last night before bed when we were sat before the fireplace with our mugs; tea for myself, decaf coffee for Victoria and hot cocoa for Michael. There ware no lively discussions, no foolish questions from a childish boy.

Instead she and I were in the company of a serious and quiet man who barely shared in the conversation at all. He looked as though he wanted to, but perhaps withdrew out of obligation to his new religious awareness and need for separation from sinners such as Victoria and myself. I do not know for certain.

I only hope we can get past this intact... all of us.

Chauncey