Three in the House

Michael has only just left to return to Cambridge. He was here with us overnight due to Victoria not feeling very well. All has returned to normal now, and thus he has departed.

He is such a different person to the playful boy I had known. He seems almost a total stranger. I miss the person I used to know. Being in his presence now is very uncomfortable and sad as well. He feels I am mad to have returned here and to have proposed to Victoria. This naturally could cause friction, but we carefully avoided the topic and thus also avoided any outbursts or quarrels.

Victoria and Michael did have some business to discuss with regard to his either staying in the UK or returning to Miami to settle. It is highly likely that he will return to Miami shortly after the baby is born. He informed us that he's been offered a position within an influential accounting firm in Floria and he feels it would be in the best interest of all concerned for him to return there and raise his son.

There is no doubt in my mind that this will be difficult for Victoria. She made the decision to relinquish her bid for primary custody after Michael and I left the estate, but I believe when the moment comes it will be heartbreaking. I have said that I would be willing to conceive a child with her if that is her heart's desire but she has declined to answer either way for now saying it is too soon.

Sometimes when I think back a year and recall how happy we all once were it shakes me to my core. I miss the early days with Michael, both of us in service to Victoria, and learning to care deeply for each other along the way. We were a family, but that time has passed and what once was is irretrievable now.

It was difficult not to reminisce last night before bed when we were sat before the fireplace with our mugs; tea for myself, decaf coffee for Victoria and hot cocoa for Michael. There ware no lively discussions, no foolish questions from a childish boy.

Instead she and I were in the company of a serious and quiet man who barely shared in the conversation at all. He looked as though he wanted to, but perhaps withdrew out of obligation to his new religious awareness and need for separation from sinners such as Victoria and myself. I do not know for certain.

I only hope we can get past this intact... all of us.

Chauncey